Simplifying the story #9
Sunday 15th November
It's clear that the story needs to be simplified. The fact that, when asked to explain the story in the directors meeting none of us could, was a big red flag. Ideas are strong and very visually pleasing but there's no real depth. I feel like it's one of those situations where it's such a specific idea that it's difficult to explain to everyone else and make it comprehensible. In this situation, working in a group, everyone needs to be able to understand the narrative and invest in that narrative to be motivated for the project.
In the meeting last night that I had with the directors, we had already discussed that we would go away and try to each break down the story. We agreed to come back together on Monday. I happened to come up with a potential idea in the night. This morning, I received a voice note from Reagan, voicing people's concerns still about the development of the story. I took in what she had to say and agreed. I reassured her that we were working on simplifying the script and were well aware of everyone's concerns as we had the same concern. She appreciated this and reminded me of our original idea; We have a character simply navigating the space in search of a specific object. It is quite a simple concept but maybe that's what we need to go from? We could still give the protagonist a back story so he has more motive with what objects he picks up but it's just an idea to consider. I still plan to put forward my new idea and see if anything can come from that but it's good to know that we have a base to fall back on.
The only conflict in my mind is that we do need to simplify it, but this character also needs a purpose. He needs to be complex but the story needs to be simple.
I think we eliminate the concept of two sides; one representing the left brain, one representing the right. Even though we thought it would help to organise things, i think it's just made things more unnecessary. It's easier to say what objects we will have on each side, but we still have no real reason for them being there.
I feel like we need to think back to the Meatyard photo. We were intrigued by the image because it was simple. It showed two characters, one hidden in the corner of the room and one peering into the window; light pouring in. We used Es Devlin to inspire the use of projections and the overall shape of the set. We used Jeff Wall to inspire the lights within. I say, if we keep the set simple, include projections and include the rather magical bulbs hanging from the ceiling, that would be enough. It's still a lot of work for us as we need to decide on the projections, we need to decide on how we will create the shadow figure, how we will arrange the bulbs etc. I feel like we gave ourselves too much work before.
IDEA
What if we begin with our protagonist on a bench outside the set (a bench isn't hard to source). This bench is still in darkness. He is lying there asleep. Light falls onto him and he wakes up, clearly confused as to where he is. He stands up and starts to walk towards the light. We see that it's pouring out from a window in a house that sits in the middle of a void. Either we then have a shot from the interior of him wiping away condensation and looking in, or we have this shot from outside looking in; DISCUSS. When inside, he looks in awe at the lights hanging above him. Touching one, it turns off. He goes around a few of them pressing them on and off. He then stumbles upon a chest (or a suitcase or a packing box- DECIDE ON THIS), lying in the middle of the floor. Confused, he kneels down and opens it. As it opens, shadows begin to dance across the walls of the room, like he's opened pandora's box. He's let something out but he's not too sure what. His expression quickly turns to fear and we pan around to a door at the other end of the room. He runs towards it in an effort to open it and escape. He soon realises the door isn't real (it's painted on). He turns back around, looking at the open chest; all of his weight against the door. We then see a shadowed figure peering in through the window; watching him. Our protagonist takes a deep breath and approaches the case again; shadows still dancing. He pulls out an object. The shadows stop and he looks around in relief. We look over his shoulder to see the object he's just pulled out. He holds a photo of what looks like him and his family; his face blurred out. Clearly distressed by this, he brushes his finger over it with a great sadness. He places it by his side (a tear rolling down his face, if the actor can achieve this haha). He next pulls out a bottle of alcohol and scoffs. Maybe he goes to take a sip and the lights flick on and off as a warning (basically telling him no). He reacts to this and puts it to one side. Next he pulls out a teddy? He pulls it to his chest and then puts it to one side. Come up with a range of objects he can pull out. One's that hold good and bad memories. At the end, he will hang up the picture on the wall and place his good memories around the room. All the bad memories he will keep locked in the box. He will take one last look at the room. The camera is then back outside the house, looking in through the window. We see the man leave the shot and all the lights turn off. THE END. Or, we bring the door back into it. As it's a fake door, maybe we see him walk towards it and as he goes to 'open it' that's when the lights cut out. So, the audience assumes that he left. As we won't actually be able to open the door maybe this is a solution? Or, we just get a real door too? At least we have a story, this can be something the art department can sort at a later date.
The moral of the story is face your demons and don't let them shadow what matters to you! Hence the shadow in the window and the dancing shadows inside could represent the demons. The objects in the box are his memories and the room is his mind. He therefore fills his mind with the good memories and leaves the bad ones behind. This way, the set design is quite simple so that we can focus on how to create projections and work with the lighting team on that one. Also, we have the objects begin all in one place so the room doesn't look cluttered and confused. I was worried that only we would understand why these objects were in the room and the audience wouldn't. Having them in the case hopefully makes the connection more clear. Then we end with him technically dressing the set. The actor can do our job for us :) We also still include the idea of mixing 3D and 2D with the painted door (reality vs fantasy) and the frustration he finds not being able to escape. He can only leave once he's faced whatever is in the case.
The case/chest/box- finer details:
We could create a Tardis effect and lay green screen on the inside of the case. The first shot into it will just show a black void. Then, we only shoot him taking objects out from the side so it looks like he's pulling them from this void? But this may be a bit too extra.
Google meet with Vicky (1st AD) to discuss ideas
Lamp post next to bench? Light on him. Tracking shot of him walking towards house.
We agreed we'd think about it and try to develop the idea to a point where we felt comfortable sharing it.
I created a google docs for us to start developing and start visualising:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Vs2JJ4_zuTcIvl-BbB7hg_oorc61Xb0Fs1aSEZ2YvNU/edit
Images that our most relevant to the story:
Bullet point that we refined together to make the narrative more coherent:
- There is a man asleep on a bench within a dark void; a streetlight above.
- A light shines on him and he follows it to the set.
- He looks into the room through the window (which has condensation on it).
- There are wilting plants in glass bottles along the inside windowsill to suggest a stale state of mind.
- Inside the room are hanging lights and a box in the middle of the floor; there is a small empty bin in the corner of the room.
- The man enters. There is a faint sound coming from the box. He opens it.
- As a reaction to this, the lighting and shadows change and the sounds get louder - shadows dance around the room and the hanging lights flicker.
- The man stands up fearful, and tries to look for an exit. There is only the window, where a figure stands there watching him.
- The figure bangs on the window and points towards the box, which the man then looks at and slowly approaches.
- He picks out the first object: a framed photo of a woman, a child and a man. The man's face is blocked out. He stares at it then puts it to the side.
- He reaches into the box again and finds a half empty bottle of spirit. He goes to take a sip but the hanging lights flash around him (as a warning). He looks back down at the bottle and then puts it on the other side of him.
[ SERIES OF OBJECTS (MEMORIES) THAT ARE GOOD OR BAD] Each object has its own sound which can build and intensify
- The man looks behind his shoulder to see the figure still standing there
- The man empties the box (could perhaps tip it over to show it’s empty).
- He starts by throwing away the ‘bad’ objects in the bin. Then he turns to the other objects on the floor. He starts pinning things up on the wall (i.e. child’s drawings, postcards, calendar, jacket, keys - WE CAN ADD TO THIS) He leaves the empty album on the floor.
- Once everything is on the wall he turns to the album, picks it up, puts it in his jacket and then admires everything he’s put up.
- (PERSPECTIVE CHANGES FROM THE INSIDE TO THE OUTSIDE) The figure is still looking in, see’s the bottled plants are now alive, then turns and we see it’s the man in the same jacket. He begins walking back to the park bench through a void of darkness.
- The man sits down on the bench, looks out in front of him with a look of new energy. The lamppost above him flickers.
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